The Loneliness Cure
Loneliness is hazardous to your health, but fortunately there’s an affordable cure: adults need to learn how to play more.
Former U.S. surgeon general Vivek Murthy declared loneliness on the job a public health crisis in the US. It’s actually a global diagnosis. The British Government implemented a Minister of Loneliness in 2018, recognizing the impact of loneliness on national health. Then the COVID-19 pandemic accelerated many health, income and education disparities. Loneliness is one of those. Play and playful pursuits with others are no longer an optional leisure activity. They’re as necessary as sleep, nutrition and exercise. Playful connection (or the lack thereof) is a global mental health issue.
Loneliness on the job is a public health crisis
Loneliness is comorbid with and undergirds almost every major crisis of the 21st Century including opioid addiction, civic disengagement and school violence. Right now, we are collectively starved for attention: life-giving, meaning-making attention. More dangerous than obesity and as damaging to your health as 15 cigarettes a day, loneliness is an epidemic driving the decline in life-expectancy in the United States. Those most affected are the younger generations. According to a Cigna survey of over 200,000 respondents, Millenials and Gen Z (all born after 1980) are the loneliest. However, even though the healthcare system in the United States is ranked lowest among high-income countries, we have the resources within our population to address this public health crisis.
Our health, both individually and collectively, depends on our ability to reach out, to connect.
EVERYONE has a deep desire to be invited to play, to be asked “Do you want to come out and play?” Some will say yes. Some will say no. Some want to be asked just so they can say no, and guess what? That’s okay! Just because we all want to be asked doesn’t mean we all want to follow through with the invitation. If you can play with someone, you can communicate with them. You can solve problems together. You can recognize and overcome differences of opinion, background, politics or culture. You forge connections.
Through my work as a professional medical clown with a decade of experience bringing joy and delight to the bedsides of hospitalized children; as an Emmy-award winning actor on a long running PBSKids family favorite; as a culture critic and scholar; and as a TED speaker on using play to put the care back in healthcare, I understand intimately the transformative and health-affirming benefits of play…but not just for kids: for the rest of us, the former-kids, the no-longer children, the grown-ups, the adults.
Play (the kind I’m talking about) leads to ‘instant empathy.’ I grew up playing on foreign playgrounds. Play was a unit of cultural exchange. I’ve brought play into spaces where play isn’t normally found nor expected, like hospitals and gyms (two places most people NEVER want to go). As a former medical clown, I’ve honed my skills and observations working with patients, family and healthcare providers in critical care environments. This demanded emotional intelligence, the pursuit of consent, multicultural sensitivity and the mining of joy among life or death circumstances through playful interactions.
Play (the kind I’m talking about) leads to ‘instant empathy.’
The field of interactive social neuroscience studies how brains are affected by interaction. Researchers, like Princeton University neuroscientist and researcher Uri Hasson have shown that our brains ‘sync-up’ during shared experiences, like watching concerts, movies, or when listening to a story. In fact, baby and adult brains sync up when they play.
What would happen if we made space for this brain-to-brain synchrony (or neural entrainment) in the workplace, the classroom, the home, the care-setting? Playful experiences among adults create the opportunity for ‘instant empathy’ and life-affirming connection. Play, for adults, is necessary. Playful connection could drive the future of work.
Our health, both individually and collectively, depends on our ability to reach out, to connect. Play is one of the most versatile, cost effective and accessible means we have to improve our health. Play is an immediate way to get outside of ourselves, find meaning in our lives and strengthen our relationships with ourselves, each other and the world. We understand how exercise, nutrition and sleep impact our health. Now we’re slowly acknowledging the importance of social connection. Play is the catalyst for that life-affirming connection.
Play is one of the most versatile, cost effective and accessible means we have to improve our health.
